Dear lk09,

it’s a good strategy to focus on the things you enjoy and to “pamper”yourself, give yourself the best care and nurturance, and also new experiences.

Are you in touch with your girlfriend who offered to be your support buddy?

It’s only normal you’re thinking about him sometimes, but when he does pop in your mind, don’t just think of the (rare) good times when you felt close, don’t think at the beginning of your relationship when things were good, but think about the entire 2.5 years and the times he rejected you, told you he needs a break, is interested in other women and can’t be with you. Try not to remember him with those rose-colored glasses on, but take them off.  See the reality of it, see that a lot of that relationship was suffering for you.

You wanted to be his No1, and you got that place only in the beginning perhaps, but he immediately started asking for breaks, questioning your relationship because of your sister’s disapproval, and later drinking and watching online porn, telling you he wants to explore other women. This isn’t how someone who loves you and values you behaves.

What you’re missing is a dream of a perfect relationship that in reality you never had with him, or perhaps there were occasional glimpses but they would go away the very next day. The dream never lasted, but you kept chasing it.

If you want to move on, see things as they are, and also that the dream of someone healing your internal craving – is an impossible  dream. Only you can heal your craving, only you can give that inner child what she really needs.

Speaking of pictures, perhaps you can put up a picture of yourself as a child, to remind you of the person who now needs your attention and appreciation and love the most…

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Tee.