Well maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit, it has caused a stir of emotions but I know the facts are still the same, I wanted to things to work out but in my gut for a long time I’ve not known its not possible. I also know after how far I’ve come this time it’s not worth the risk to reset all the progress I’ve made and go back to healing from square one, before I never had that mindset I always felt I needed her and now I don’t believe that so im definitely in a better place than I ever have been. I do wonder if she will reach out at some point but I will cross that bridge if it happens, I’m staying on track and I won’t even wish her happy bday next month, not out of spite but I just don’t want to encourage any contact. I do disagree though I feel I do miss her as a person despite everything that has happened just by going on how i felt when I saw her earlier, guess I will only know that when the time comes I meet someone else who can make me feel that way.
Thank you Rhaenys for acknowledging that, I have been going to bed earlier because its the only way I’m getting a good quota of sleep at the moment, I find I wake up at 4am most mornings with knotts in my stomach, I not sure why that is still happening after all this time but when I wake up its still the first thing I think of, only time will heal that I know. Some evenings if I do feel a bit low and have nothing on i do like to go to bed just to get the day over with and start a new one.
Anyway yes onwards and upwards, tomorrow after I get my haircut I will feel a better I’m sure 🙂
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