Sorry for not being clear, it is currently pretty late where I live, I am getting a bit tired. What I wanted to ask were: 1) Why would he project his anger towards his mother on me? Would that mean that he sees me as a kind of partner/maternal figure rather than a partner/friend?

I considered for a longtime giving up the relationship for my own sake. I am aware that it is not completely healthy for me to stay with someone who is unable to provide love and affection in a way I want to on a regular basis. But I also know how he is during his ups. He is amazing in so many ways, we have the same values, he is very kind and generous. Honestly, I couldn’t wish for a better partner when he is at his ups. The way I want to be loved and seen, he is like this. This is why I struggle so much. I know he loves me, I love him, he is worth the efforts. We once decided to take a break around December and it lasted one month, I felt like a complete wreck. I can’t imagine my life without him. And at the same time it is very hard, I don’t know how to cope with the situation anymore. Which is why I try to get a better understanding. I don’t understand what he wants now. He also told me that if the situation became too hard for me, he would understand that I would decide to leave. I am just so torn.