@Jay2023

Again another common cliché out there is “Live in the moment”. You need to be careful, it is good to be present but when you live solely for the moment, you act on impulse. Often making regretful choices.

You said it’s human to make choices in the moment and you’ll just learn from it. Tad bit worrying. You need to realise if you’re repeating the same mistakes you’re acting carelessly.

Living In The Moment has become an excuse for reckless behaviour, disrespecting others and expecting no consequences. But there are always consequences to our choices. Always. Especially those we wilfully make.

We live in a world where we seek instant gratification, thus losing sight of the bigger picture, how it will impact us in the future or impact those around us. So taking a step back and thinking how our past experiences are useful, can help us make conscious choices aware of the consequences and be more equiped to deal with the result and the inevitable closure.

It has to be balanced between living in the moment and past/future.

You could have gone over to your mates and enjoyed a sober evening AND chosen not to ruminate by enjoying the company and the moment!!

The fact you know the alcohol was needed to make you loosen up or forget or numb, indicates you are aware that without that crutch you still haven’t got to a place where you have control over your emotions. So drinking alcohol one day and feeling good may end up being a slippery slope, if you’re unable to feel good without it. As was the case for me. 🙁

Your emotions are very see saw so I’m wondering if you may have other issues but a professional would be a better judge of that. Not me.

I just get the feeling you are lost.  You don’t know who you are and end up doing things for others which inevitably results in you being unhappy.

You’re not disappointing me at all, that’s the point, you should only be concerned about disappointing yourself. When you know who you are and are authentic, then you set your own standards and fulfil them.

Those who really care about you will never judge you and just try to encourage you, keep you in good form because they want you to achieve inner contentment and be the best version of yourself.

So if you have people around you that offer that support then that’s incredible and you’re very lucky. Many don’t.

I really think you need to go on a spiritual journey and feed the soul. It’s time to rediscover original form of Jay and seek meaning or find purpose to your life. That’s what will lead to you finding real happiness.