Dear TeaK

Thank you once again for your reply, im very grateful.

You said that it appears im rejecting myself, because i was rejected as a child. Well im not really sure if that’s the reason.
Well as a child, i have a swallowing trauma which affects me till now, and i’m a person who dont likes to eat. I go on with my life with this swallowing trauma, as i cant swallow hard or many stuffs in my mouth without drinking water. As the water flushes it in to my throat (if u get what i mean). So everytime i take a bite/spoon into my mouth, i’ll need to drink water… i can swallow it without water, but it will took me a lot of time… as im afraid of swallowing. This happens to me as a child till now. And also i have a low sense of eating, i dont like to eat…

Maybe this cause my short height? But still i dont think it’s my fault if i get a short height due to this. I didnt ask for this trauma, which maybe affects my nutrients to develop.

And i’m a person who likes to show/brag to people if i’m good at something… that’s why i feel to frustrated in height as i cant brag about my height… as i cant show im wearing good outfits (as im short). No matter how good my outfit is, the length of that outfit will be short. It’s not wrong right for me to want to look good, as most humans do that… And this shorts height destroys everything regarding me looking good. Like i feel as a human being, i lost my option to look good..
I always hope miracles could exist and my height suddenly grow 1-2 inch. But i know its impossible.

I also always feel like i wont mind disappearing, as i feel inequality…