Dear hopeful80,

I do all of the cooking, tidying up, watch his dog when he’s going to have a long work day, plan dates.

Does it mean you’ve moved to his place? If so, I think it’s way too early, because you’ve met him only in December, and now you’re already cleaning his flat and cooking for him, while he doesn’t show much appreciation for you any more. Regardless of the woman who sent him her nude photos, it seems to me you’re moving too fast.

While he acknowledges he has created this environment

In your eyes, what is he guilty of what exactly? Not deleting and blocking her as soon as she sent her first nude photo? You yourself said “what guy would say no” to receiving a nude female photo. Perhaps he was startled but it also flattered him a little, so he didn’t block her immediately. It could also be that after just 3 months of relationship – even though the two of you spent quite a lot of time together – he still wasn’t sure if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, so perhaps he was open to at least in theory receiving other “offers”.

It might not have even been conscious in him, but just something in the back of his mind. And when you started accusing him of why he didn’t block her immediately, or why he engaged with her even for a moment, he might have felt that you’re expecting a level of commitment from him that he’s still unsure of. He might feel pressured into something he’s not yet ready for, or didn’t have enough time to decide.

As a result, he’s now not that affectionate any more, he doesn’t call you pet names, and he seems bored with you. There’s a resistance within him, I believe because he doesn’t know if he wants to go deeper into the relationship. This uncertainty might have been there before, but your reaction to those nude pictures might have exacerbated it.

Do you think this is a possible explanation of his behavior? Have you experienced in your past relationships that you’re often the one who is pushing for greater intimacy and closeness, while your partner is somewhat reserved and wants to back off?