Dear Ilyana,

I am sorry you’re feeling worse and unable to attend to your everyday tasks. At the same time, you’re noticing that important people in your life are there for you: your husband and your sister, and they’re doing everything in their power to make you feel better.

That’s very different from the experience you had as a child, when you were left alone with your pain and fears, and didn’t get any emotional support from your mother. You thought your father had abandoned you and that it was your fault and that you were unlovable. Your mother was consumed by her own hatred and anger at your father, so you were surrounded by only dark feelings, by her hatred, anger, bitterness, disappointment. There was nothing positive that she gave you, instead she sucked you in into her own vortex of negativity. No wonder you grew up severely hurt and depressed.

But now, it’s good you’re noticing that not everyone is like your mother, that people genuinely care about you, and that there’s love and understanding for you. That itself can be healing and I hope it helps you bridge that pool of depression that you’ve found yourself in. Whether you decide to go to a residential treatment program, or work it out locally, with your therapists, try to focus on the fact that things are different now and that there’s help, that your loved ones are sincerely trying to help you because they care about you. Try to find comfort in that…

Let us know what you’ve decided about treatment options and how you’re doing… Take care <3

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Tee.