@Sammy1 thank you for your continued support. I can’t say it enough how much I appreciate and value your time.

Thank you for always steering me back and providing such intuitive advice. I’m looking forward to this therapy session. I’m looking forward to making myself feel fully better.

The house is because I feel the need to provide, it gives me purpose. I know ‘B’ is independent but it’s a male thing I want to be able to protect and provide for my partner. As a man I would personally feel a failure if I wasn’t able to do both for my wife. ‘B’ was a little resistant to this view she thinks it should be shared, but after we discussed and compromised some she realised too its a basic instinct for men and actually empowers us. Much like caring and nurturing is for women. I feel that is something I can offer as security and stability to her when she offers me the emotional strength and stability. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have nothing to offer to my partner.

Part of the reason I love her so much she inspires me to be that better version like this evening she asked if I wanted to join her in supporting her friends at a pro palestine rally in Central London this evening. I’ll be honest I was fearful of what to expect but being amongst that crowd and seeing people fight for a humanitarian crisis was eye opening. Things I avoided voicing support for in the past where family and brother were very vocal i avoided due to FEAR again I was worried how the office or the lads would react, I’ve worked in a very corporate environment but always felt empathy for such causes,  I now fully embrace. Shes opening me up to be who I am at core. I feel better for it.

I’m feeling a positive wave of change! It’s been a productive few days. You know there’s something in forgiveness. Forgiving yourself first for your mistakes and then making real amends.

Oh and don’t worry so much about @Jay2023. He will post if he wants to in his own time. I’m sure he’s just taking time to reconnect with himself.