Dear noname:

You’re welcome and thank you for complimenting my imagery. I wonder if having a real aquarium (or a video/audio on an aquarium playing in the background) will have a calming affect on you, not as a symbol of love but of calm, helping you to stabilize yourself and focus better on your need of material security.

You want to “give up on being loved by another” for now, and I  hope you succeed. If it helps you to not re-visit this thread, you can. You can start a new thread free of any expression of the hope to be loved, and post only about what you want to focus on.

anita