Dear DaveF:

Did you notice that (1) she threatened you when you tried to break up with her two months ago, having told you: “you will regret this”!, (2) she was aggressive toward you when she stated: “you do not want to leave, you want to be with me”, and “you can’t leave me”!, (3) as a result of her threats and aggression, you are afraid of breaking up with her, living in fear of her and her family: “I fear that another break-up conversation would be too difficult.. fear that I will then be on the receiving end of many insults, desperate pleas, hurtful comments (from her and her family), and overall life-wrenching anxious times”)?

* the comments you listed that she made sound aggressive, not “desperate pleas”.

You wrote: “I feel trapped”- trapped by a woman who is using fear and guilt to trap you, so it seems. Being the anxious and conscientious man that you are (not wanting to hurt her, not wanting to blame her), you’ve been easy to trap, so far.

You mentioned having nice friends- I suggest that you ask for a friend or friends to help you: to be present with you as you pack your belongings (being willing and ready to call the police if she becomes aggressive while you  pack and leave the rented house for good), and then allow you to stay with them for a few weeks while you put your affairs in order regarding the rented house, and finding a new place to live.

What do you think about my suggestion?

anita