I want to read more from the living-breathing Ubermensch: Murtaza

I perfer to use birdamn, at least to me it has some value.

I just remembered something, when i used to go to this therapist, i had her number so we could agree on a sisson, one day i wanted to suicide, i had a big urge to self harm, i remembered that i have her number, i thought i might ask her for help, since i was on the edge, so i did, i begged her for help, i was so hopeless, and you know what she answered? Nothing, she just seen my message, after somedays, i went to the session, and she didn’t mention anything, she didn’t even ask me about what might happened, she just continue to try to change me so i could fit her world view and society world view, i knew that im on my own, before i ask her for help, i fantasize about asking, and in the fantasy she cared, she replied, that’s why i did it, thats why i was motivated to ask her, even knowing that this might be the result, i didn’t feel anything, since i was almost sure that she wouldn’t answer, but its this tiny hope, she wasn’t a bad therapist, she wasn’t even a therapist, therapy don’t exist in iraq, not yet, and the one that exist cost a fortune

Here i am, no feelings, no desires, no goals, only consuming, like an animal, at least an animal doesn’t have awareness, the drugs has made me even more apathetic, more numb, i kinda like it, this is why i laugh at everything that happens to me, because its all just a big joke, all of this