Dear bren:

“I just don’t understand why he won’t say no. I don’t understand why he can’t give me definite answers… I told he it’s a yes or no answer… I just need straight forward answers because it leaves hope still there”-

– He already told you no: he said, “no chance in hell”, and then he told you yes: he said, “yes, we do have a possible shot in hell”. If he again says no, it is not likely to be a definite answer for you, because you might think: he said no today, but he may say yes tomorrow.

You shared that he broke up with you after “a really difficult year and no communication”, and “he felt like there was no hope”. During that whole year (and the year before it), you suffered from “stress/ depression/ anxiety/ thyroid issues”.

Following re-reading your posts this morning, it occurred to me that you are still suffering from stress and anxiety, (and maybe from the same thyroid issues),  based on your thinking being all over the place. “I have started therapy”, you wrote- this is a good beginning. Reads to  me that you should be under the care of a medical doctor and a psychotherapist. The answers you are looking for, better not ask your ex for answers, better ask yourself for the answers within the context of psychotherapy.

Also, you wrote that you are going to move this weekend- I hope that you will be moving to a place where you can experience safety and stability, a sameness from one day to the next.

anita