Dear bren,

I am making these changes for myself. I am getting help, I am making changes in my life that I have realized are hindering me and my happiness

That’s great. If you work on yourself and heal your emotional wounds, it will benefit first and foremost you. You’ll be capable of a better and healthier relationship – whether it’s with him or someone else.

but theres still that stupid feeling in my heart that things could come back together.

So a part of you is still hoping, and another part says it’s stupid to hope – probably to protect yourself from hurt.

The definite no would tell me to just give up all hope.

Because if you give up hope, you wouldn’t be hurt, is that right? It’s easier not to hope, than to hope and be rejected….

You said earlier:

I want to make these changes for myself and build myself back up but I also want to show him and he even said it would make a difference.

I want to show him… how I’ve changed, how I’ve grown? It’s like you want him to be proud of you. You said you don’t even care that he’s seeing someone new:

For some reason I don’t care that he started to see someone new, I feel fully focused on just us, even though there is no “us”.

What if this situation with him reminds you of a dynamic between you and one of your parents, whom you wanted to impress and make him/her proud of you?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by Tee.