If you could just notice those two parts – without judgment, without wanting to get rid of either of them. Just be aware of them

I am aware of them, but it doesn’t matter since i can’t satisfy what it needs, i was aware of this persona for a whole 2 years, and i leaned that it must not get out, it will cause more pain, and it did, when i saw reality, how ugly it is, i accept this fact, that this persona should always stay hidden

you think that if i accepted this persona and what it needs, then i will be able to motivate myself to work, and live life, and marry, you think that accepting my past self that was inherited, should make me wanna live? and make me happy? don’t you think i have enough proofs to be that sure? Its not just a me problem, its where i live and what i have got, sure i can get out of here, but that requires a lot of work, work i don’t see worth it, and i have depression (and don’t tell me those are excuses), you know im sick and tired of being the blame, no matter how much arguments i provide, no matter how much reasons i give, its always my fault, but you know what? I don’t care what you think or any of you think, you simply don’t know, you just can’t imagine how my life look like, and you never will