Dear Richard:

“I am usually not a very outwardly physically affectionate person.  When I see my parents I more or less lean in for a hug but I do not really reciprocate the embrace”- this made me think that maybe you avoid physical affection not only with your parents (and with others), but also with your girlfriend, by maintaining a LDR for years.

“She is in a job she does not like.  I do not want her to come or move here only to find me in a job I do not like”- if she moves to your part of the world and lives with you (1) she will not be sacrificing a job that she enjoys, (2) the two of you being physically close can make life easier for you and for her, and the two of you will be more likely to find jobs that you like

anita