UPDATE:  Today has been particularly rough.  I had difficulty sleeping last night and today I was scheduled to work all day in an on-call/temp gig I have.  The gig was a virtual event where I met with students via Zoom.  My heart was racing most of the day and I almost began crying a number of times in front of the people I was conversing with via Zoom.  I feel terrified about not knowing what I am going to do for a full-time job.  I feel like I have wasted the past 9 years of my life getting a degree only to find myself lost.  I would not trade meeting and falling in love with my partner for anything, but it is still very hard not to be filled with regret over pursuing my doctorate and the position of severe uncertainty I find myself in.  I feel like just crawling in bed and curling up into a ball.