Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for ur reply.

You said:

“she’s not being fair with you because she can’t promise you anything about the future, she’s telling you to wait for 2 years to even start dating, she’s throwing you a bait about some possible (and as you say, highly uncertain) relationship many years from now. It’s one big nothing.

She probably just needs attention, and so far you’ve been her greatest fan, and now as she’s losing it, she wants it back. She doesn’t want you, but your attention and you pining for her. That probably makes her feel better about herself and boosts her self-esteem. It’s her ego, not a real interest in you.”

= Tbh it’s also the other way around… like i always feel like i need her attention. She told me to wait for 2 year, i actually know that it is true and i can guarantee that in 2 years she wont be in a relationship….. but i know her behaviour… especially with her new coquettish behaviour, i’m really sure she will post to gain attention from people on instagram…. and it’ll most likely cause boys to get attracted to her… this is what i’m mostly anxious about….

Also when we text each other for the past few days… i really really forget about my regrets and embarrassment….. although actually i also dont really like her family (on how she explains to me about her family)….. but i always read that if two person love each other, they can find solutions to overcome the obstacles.

I also have the thoughts of stop chatting with her…. like i really want to leave her (due to how she explains about her family, also due to that i’ll feel anxious for the next few years)…. but when i tried to stop chatting her for a day…. it feels like a struggle and the thoughts of the embarrassment and regret of social media came back..

You said:

“If I were you, I wouldn’t agree on it by any means. It’s just going to end up in disappointment and you being anxious about her for the next 4-5 years.”

= Yes i’m really sure most people would say this…. but idk why my brain always keep telling me that she’s the only “attractive” girl that i can hope for. For the past 9 months when i stop chatting with her, i tried to get close to girls and i failed…. when i failed i always have thoughts of her…. like i should just push my limits for her rather than trying other girls….. Maybe it’s due to my self-esteem (like what u used to said before).

Also i think it’s due to i feel like i’ve messed up on social media (like how i used to embarrassed myself which cause people to look at me as unattractive).

Like i also have thoughts of even if i wait or separate with her…… i can bet that she’ll still be in my head.

I feel like i cant be free of her in my thoughts……

I also feel like if she’s considering having relationship with me (although it’s still on 2023)…. i should go for it to see if it works or not….. because i dont think i’ll be in a relationship in 2023 if i separated with her (based on what i’ve tried for the past 9 months) as i have difficulties in chasing girls.

You said:

“It’s understandable that your insecurities came back, because a part of you wants to impress her, because she’s making you believe she is interested in you. But as I said, my impression is that she’s not interested in you but in your attention. So the best would be to free yourself from her – to wish her well and go your separate ways. If you’re meant to be together in 4-5 years, it will happen. But right now, it would be a bad choice to stay attached to her.”

= If i really go out with her, how do u think i should cope with this insecurities? As she havent realized of my height.

Even after all my explanations here, is ur advice still the same as before? Which is to leave her? As i wanna have some thoughts with myself before making the decision.