Dear canary:

“I learned that my ex has ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder)“-

The ASPD diagnosis is characterized by a long-term pattern of irresponsibility: difficulties maintaining stable employment and fulfilling their social and financial obligations, failing to consider the consequences of their actions, having a history of impulsive, and often illegal behaviors, leading exploitative, unlawful, or parasitic lifestyles, often aggressive and hostile, with poorly regulated tempers, and can lash out violently with  They disregard and violate the rights of others so to exploit them, for their own gain and pleasure, and they have little to no guilt or remorse about doing so. Some deceive and exploit people by presenting superficial charm, others by intimidation and violence. (Wikipedia, based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM, which came up with this diagnosis and defined it).

“all I wish is for him to be the person he once was, a person that was genuinely trying to be a better person and make his life better“-

This suggests that you knew him in the past as a person who did not fit the ASPD diagnosis. In your previous thread of December 2020, you shared that your relationship with a man with whom you had a 7-month relationship (Aug 2019- April 20). You shared nothing at all that was asocial about him, referring to him as “my first love/soulmate.. a man who made me realize many things about love and life”.

If in your current thread you are referring to the same man, then sometime between Jan 21-July 21, you retroactively “diagnosed” him yourself.. or learned that he received such diagnosis (?)

“part of me is still holding onto the hope.. we’ll fall back in love and be in a relationship. Honestly, I hate it. I hate that hope I have…. hoping our paths will cross again. I really want the hope to leave. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I appreciate every response“-

I think that it is important that you are clear about who is the man that you are hoping to cross paths with again, who it is the man your hope is attached to: is he a bad man (exploits others, aggressive, lacking guilt and remorse for harming others for his gain and pleasure/ asocial)?

anita

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by .