Dear AP:

“I think that although there is confusion, her behaviour is quite clear.. She doesn’t want me. I just wish I understood why she keeps reopening the door.. Because that flicker of hope for me and the kids each time, to have it taken away is a kick in the gut each time again and again“-

– Notice: first you suggested that you clearly understand that she doesn’t want you, but the next thing you wrote is that you hope that she does want you. So, sometimes you believe that she doesn’t want you, at other times you believe that maybe she does want you.

“How do you let go of something that you don’t want to let go of? How do you move on from someone you still love“- find out whether she wants you, or not. If not, and you are clear about it, then there is a good chance that you will be able to let go and move on from her.

“I feel that by asking her how she feels makes me vulnerable and will pull me even lower because isn’t it clear how she feels…?“- it is not clear to you how she feels, that’s why you need to find out, or at least do all you can to find out. Will it make you vulnerable? Yes, but you already are.

I wonder what you mean by you being pulled even lower, in the above quote?

anita