Hi Sarah,

I understand, everyone is different, and even there we may be at different stages of our healing journey. Or sometimes it’s just not the right time. Do not worry, your positivity didn’t make anything worse, I knew better than not to push when I notice external factors wouldn’t make it successful. And I don’t feel bad for that, I know it’s not a problem. I just already have tendencies to avoid negative emotions so it end up like that sometimes.

I checked out Kristin Neff, read her website, listened a few interviews she done on the subject, and tried a meditation on her website yesterday. Her content is interesting and might be helpful. Thank you.

Unfortunately, I’m not going to hope for too many improvements in the few next days. My mother have been acting up, verbally abusing me actively again. She went as far as actually hitting me yesterday. Nothing too worrying, I was able to protect myself well enough and she stopped after my siblings tried to film her violence for evidences.

She is threatening to report us to social workers for ‘destroying her mental health’, which is quite ironical since she’s been the one starting fights. She said she got her back covered about the abuse when we pointed out the irony (probably lied/manipulated someone by twisting the reality again). I don’t think she’ll really do anything though, as it isn’t a fight she can attempt without going down too. She’s just afraid of us reporting her for her behaviour so she’s trying to have the advantage by turning the tables, but I won’t be afraid. I’m tired though.

My siblings aren’t coping very well, I’m worried about them. I’m doing well enough all things considered but I’m looking forward to the moment she’ll move on from her crisis and stop jumping me everytime our path cross.

I hope I’ll have better news next time we talk,

Linarra