Dear DeJana:

“Am I seeking for traits in men that remind me of my childhood?”- no, I don’t think so.

“Or am I overly-sensitive and can deal with critique? In general or just in close relationships? I do think I can deal fine with critique at work or from my friends though“- I would guess that you are overly-sensitive to being criticized in the context of close relationships because it is most often the case that children who experienced lots of criticism by a parent or parents (within the close relationship of parent-child) grow up to re-experience over-sensitivity/ over reactivity to criticism within the context of close relationships.

What do you think about talking to your boyfriend, telling him that you are over-sensitive to criticism because of your childhood experience, that it is not his doing (as it preceded meeting him), and that you need his help. Give him an example of something he said that sounded to you like criticism, and suggest a way that he can re-state what he said in a way that doesn’t sound to you like criticism?

anita