Hello Anita

Work has been very busy these last 2 days.  I’ve been thinking and I feel like I’m constantly walking through a field with hidden bombs.  I can be walking just fine and then out of now where it explodes.  It’s embarrassing thinking about it afterwards-when you’ve brushed off the dirt and looked at the hole but then started moving forward again.  It makes you feel like you have no control over your brain when of course you do-people do it everyday.  It’s like my brain is wired upside down.  I make poor choices but I feel like maybe I’m getting better 2% at a time.

I’ve been doing a really great job of not engaging with my ex.  I think he might be a little crazy.

I’ve been speaking with my really good friend.  He’s been there for me since I started dating “S.”  He says that S was content keeping things as they were even though I was very unhappy.  that’s not good news at all but at least it’s better than Hey he just didn’t like you anymore.  There is some closure there. I’m meeting with my counselor tomorrow.

I feel tired because 2 men have asked me out since I put single on my facebook page.  I don’t want to get into anything serious.  It’s like looking at something you have to eat and you can’t stand the taste.  I know one of the men and he invited me to a movie and dinner.  He has a lake house about an hour out of town.  He said my dog could come.  I might go just as a way to get away. I’ve talked to him off and on for months.  Half the time I ignore him and he still texts.  I told him I’m not going to sleep with him.  I asked for his intentions and he said i’m not going to lie-I want to get to know you but yes of course I want to sleep with you. I’m attracted to you.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.  However my daughter’s party is this Friday and I’m excited to make my fruit tray and cupcakes.

Lindsey