Hi. How are you? Happy Summer =)

My mom has nothing to do with this, honestly. She didn’t do a great job with me, but she is a good wife, daughter, and even mother at times.

This is a lot deeper. This is simply me not being able to get female attention. Anything from more serious to just hooking up, I am out of luck. I live in LA where you HAVE to be 6 feet tall, drive a BMW, and live in the hills, or women don’t even look at you. It’s my imagination. It’s how things are. There are forums for guys and everyone agrees that LA dating is by far worse than any other US city. I get matches on dating sites from outside of US all the time, but I need physical intimacy, closeness, not chats or virtual video conference.

I don’t have the answer to any of this. I just decided to concentrate on my studying, gym, biking. I’ve never felt so hopeless about something so silly like meeting girls. I wouldnt want to wish my frustration about this with anyone.

PS.  I am not looking to find the cause or blame mom or anyone else. Past is in the past. I am trying to disconnect from my primal urges for intimacy and relationships before they lock me away at a mental hospital. I literally feel sick from this. I am not seeing a therapist now, but I will once my new insurance kicks in. This is just stupid and sad. I am angry at my self because it’s happening in my own head and I can’t stop it =((