Hello Teak,

Thank you for the reply, I believe that my wife and I are a good fit together, and she does sacrifice most of her time to her job, even if she doesn’t have to be at work, she will stay to do things that she wants to do (mostly tidying up the barn or doing things in the barn that the owners of the property should be doing, like fixing fence boards or fixing horse stalls.) We have talked about her hours and changes to her business that would let her have more time, but she doesn’t do anything about it.  We have the same discussion anywhere from 5-10 times a year: She will ask me what she should do, she lays out options about how she should change the business, we discuss it for an hour or so laying out the pro’s and con’s of each option.  When all of that is done, I tell her what my opinions are about it, what I think would be the best course, and ask her what she REALLY wants to do..  and she can’t make up her mind.  So we end up back at the same spot after every discussion, sometimes I get annoyed when we are talking about it because she never follow’s through with her idea’s, I have become increasingly annoyed with it  over the past few months, and the last time she wanted to discuss her business plans I snapped at her about it.  It’s almost as if she doesn’t want anything to change, which I understand, and she has a problem with her own self-worth and was in therapy for it, along with other things.

I might be over reacting a bit, and probably being stubborn about house chores.  But in my eyes, a relationship should be a joint effort, and if I am the only one putting in effort, then it feels like I just have a room-mate instead of a spouse.

– Anita,

I will take a look at the workbooks you mentioned, and maybe start there.  I am afraid that if I ask her to go to couples therapy she will not have time, or stay at work longer to avoid it.  The workbooks I could probably get to work since we can do it at home, but we will see how it goes.

Thank you both!