Anita,

I did not end up going to the lake house.  I believe he realized I was not going to sleep with him.  He still messages me but I’m like whatever with that. He’s funny so it’s just someone to talk to sometimes.

I feel like maybe I’ve made an error in judgement.  They say once you start to forget about someone they pop up out of nowhere and that’s exactly what happened.  Saturday morning I was walking my dog and I get a text from “S” and I called him.  I started crying and explaining some of the things that happened before his daughter got sick and how I should have said something to him.  He stated he wasn’t happy that his girlfriend broke up with him via text and woke up to reading it.  Which I can understand.  He told me he loved me and that was the end of the conversation.  I believe on Sunday I asked him to call to further discuss.  He sent a picture of him and his daughter getting yogurt and stated they were going to watch a movie and he would call Monday.  He said that he missed me and hoping I was having a good night.   He did not call on Monday.  Now I’m trying to put myself in his shoes.  I think the yogurt movie thing was fine.  I think he should have sent a quick text last night if he was busy.  However, if my daughter is at a hospital with leukemia and I’m staying in a tiny apartment with one bedroom, I don’t know that calling would be on my priority list.  Her hair is starting to fall out and she is no a steriod that makes her face very puffy.  I’m trying not to be selfish with I,I,I regarding our relationship.

There is a lot I want to say.  Mostly things I did not communicate about, issues I had, etc when we were together.  There is a very short video I found on social media explaining people’s behaviors who are love deprived.  It keeps going around in my brain to send him but I’m not sure to send it.  It might feel like to him that I’m am blowing up his phone and he has lots to deal with that are important.  I keep thinking about it.

I’m having all this anxiety but we will end up getting back together so I’m not sure why. He wouldn’t have talked about it with me or said he loved me and missed me.  In fact he would never had reached out staying thank you for the care package I sent to his daughter and that he still had my key to my house. He stated that we would talk about it later in our first conversation we had.  I feel mixed up.  I hope you are not disappointed. There was no way I could ignore him when he reached out initially.  I’m wondering why I have this anxiety about him not calling.  It’s kind of unhealthy when I think about it.  And almost not something I should even worry about.  I mean we can’t really have a relationship anyway until he gets home in a few weeks.

Lindsey