Hello anita,

It does feel like somewhat of an addiction now, if I am to be completely honest. I’ve deactivated the accounts in which I am able to behave in that way, so I hope it sticks this time. Because you mention it as being addiction, I started looking at possible triggers of these behavior. I think due to the pandemic I have been frequenting a lot of forums where other people’s views are not aligned with mine, especially with regards to race issues and vaccination status. It’s become such a trigger that I think I have been treating these online commentators as sub-humans in extreme cases. It’s also easy to do so because I cannot see the human aspects of them since we are all anonymous.

I am not sure if I lack empathy, or if the empathy deficit is specific to people who I regard as having views not aligned with my own. Close friends have previously mentioned to me that they found it puzzling that I am able to be extremely nice to friends but extremely mean to people I don’t care about.

As for loneliness, I think that may apply less since I am keeping a small and tight circle of friends on purpose as I have previously felt like behaving badly towards people I do not care about. But the other two seems to be more applicable. I’m particularly worried about sadism, and am worried that I have a personality disorder.