You would care, like you care for your little sister? You would make an effort for them?

For the person? Yes, in my life? No, that’s demanding too much.

So you can’t have love and your philosophy at the same time. You need to sacrifice one of them.

Love.

Because my philosophy and apathy made me live comfortably, no person can offer such thing, such unconditional love, only me.

Because that means that they too

When i cared about anita, i still thought life is meaninglessness, but she isn’t, it doesn’t go hand in hand, i can completely set aside my beliefs and ideas, for someone i care about, someone that i think is worth my time, and i would help him in any way, even if that means i don’t talk to him, but if he asks me to change one thing about my life, to do this or that, then no, this is a boundary i expect him to not go over, my life is my life, if love means i should change it, then love isn’t worth it, i choose this kinda of life for a reason, and i still think this reason is valid, if a person doesn’t respect that, then its his fault, i can provide anything besides changing my life, care, attention, understanding, respect, love.

But all those are meaninglessness when i don’t have money, when i don’t have the resources, if only i had the desire for it, without sacrificing, i don’t even ask for enjoying the job i have, just not hating my life so intensely while.