Dear Jisoo:

On one hand, you say: “One parent abusing another parent in front of the kid is toxic at any age“, on the other hand, you say: “I and my siblings were disturbed as kids when they fought but it didn’t effect us much”- I don’t understand how “toxic” fits with “didn’t affect us much”.

On one hand you say: “I.. can never understand any man/get emotional intimacy”, on the other hand you say: “it was a secure love  marriage“- I don’t understand how you did not understand your husband (who is a man), did not get emotionally intimate with him and yet, it was “a secure love marriage”.

Like I wrote in my last post to you, I don’t want to confuse you. But I also don’t like to be confused myself. The above are two examples of contradictions and inconsistencies in your story. There are more. Maybe another member will be able to understand and not be confused.

I will now withdraw from your thread. I do wish you well and hope that you no longer spend time with your parents, particularly with your mother (who may be the one who is confusing you).

anita