Dear Akansha,

Even when I told him I want to stop communication he told me about how one of his exes also stopped communication with him. … He was like I think it’s not fair to do that to people but if there is a wound he would be respectful about it.

I believe he wanted to make you feel bad for cutting contact with him (“it’s not fair to do that to people”). He would have liked you to be available whenever he pleased. But then he said: if there is a wound – meaning if you are not emotionally mature enough to keep contact with him, but are wounded – then he would respect it. He is suggesting that you are somehow deficient for not wanting to keep contact with him (and being exploited by him). He is suggesting he is more mature and advanced than you, when in fact he was being selfish and manipulative.

Anyway, it was not my business anymore. I told him I am sorry you feel sad but I need to focus on myself. I think you have moved on and I need to do that too.

Good that you stood your ground. Be aware that he was manipulating you. It’s okay if you focus on yourself and not tend to his selfish needs any more.

I felt sad about this behaviour of mine and thought it might be better if I sought some help.

I am glad you’ve reached out. In your first post you expressed that you were angry at him, but even more so angry at yourself for not seeing things clearly, and for still being susceptible to him. I hope you now see things a little bit more clearly, specially with regard to his behavior. If you have further questions or feel like you need some help, please post again anytime.

Take care, and wishing you all the best!