Dear Jisoo,

you are more than welcome. Good that you didn’t send him the link – it’s enough if you know. He wouldn’t change anyway because if it, so no point in trying.

One more thing i forgot to add : He doesn’t follow this contact timings when he is in my home city or when he is traveling .. he ll try to be in constant touch .. pics from airport, flight, hotel room, restaurant, shares location too .. so now i come back to my original suspicion ..he might be living with someone and trying to protect her feelings.

Yes, that would be the most logical explanation. When you asked him to show you his home – was it in his/your hometown, or he showed you the place where he lives abroad (via video chat)? If the latter, there is a smaller chance that he’s living with someone…

I am relieved to finally gain some strength to put my boundaries in place and continue to do so. Thank you very much.

I am glad to hear that, and you are welcome!

Teak, regarding soothing my inner child, i am definitely going to try it, doesn’t seem easy though. Right now i am still clueless how and where to start from, reading about it.

Well, you can work on it in therapy, or perhaps you can check the article by Dr. Nicholas Jenner, titled: “Connecting with your inner child – what it means and how to do it”. I think it’s a good first step… basically, the idea is to bring back to memory, during a meditation, a certain troubling experience from your childhood, e.g. where you were mocked by your mother. And then act as the loving parent to the little girl who felt hurt and humiliated during that experience. Your inner parent would tell the little girl how much you love her and appreciate her. She (your inner parent, i.e. the adult you) would also stand between your mother and the little girl, and protect her. She might – in your imagination – tell your mother to back off and how dare she mock you, or something to that effect.

It’s important to be able to embody the energy of your inner parent (loving, patient, compassionate, wise…), so that you can protect and soothe (in your imagination) your inner child. This type of exercise, if done properly, can in fact change the old imprint of feeling helpless and worthless to the one of feeling capable to defend yourself, and worthy of love too.