Dear Tineoidea:

“He’s been a close friend of mine for a very long time, although things have always been somewhat rocky in between us and I’ve had to fend off his possessiveness. Nevertheless we got along pretty well“-

– I can’t put together, in my mind, these two things: “always been somewhat rocky”, and “we got along pretty well” unless.. perhaps you enjoyed his possessiveness, or you enjoyed the rocky nature of the relationship with him (?)

“There wasn’t anything romantic in between us for over a decade but there may have been something on his side during the first years, although it was never reciprocated and so it died off quickly“- but it didn’t die off a long time ago: M was trying so hard to separate you from W most recently because of his romantic interest in you still, don’t you think?

“I myself didn’t want to lose a lifelong friend“- why didn’t you want to lose a possessive man who was trying hard to separate you from your girlfriend?

In the title of your thread, you asked: “Help me make sense of this“. I think that the missing sense (in my mind, at this point), is primarily in the nature of your relationship with M, not in your relationship with W.

“This isn’t only about our romantic relationship, she betrayed me as a close friend as well“- there is some unclear (to me) connection between you and M, and the two of you together, through that connection, betrayed W- that’s my feel for what happened, at this point.

anita

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