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Anita,
I think I’m getting the hang of this being alone and working on myself. I think what is happening for me is that I’m not having anxiety and hyper focused on that. I’m able to relax in the evening and do some research on myself and reflect.
Do you think that we subconsciously push things or people away? Like our brain knows something isn’t healthy and it tells your brain how to behave so that person goes away? There is a man that I speak with-he’s the one that invited me to the lake house-and while I am not interested in dating him, I talk to him (for attention I think-not attractive). So the other evening I started asking him personal questions about his childhood and to be honest one statement that was just weird lol. Like I couldn’t really explain what I was trying to say to him. I believe this was off putting to him. Especially since he’s not interested. This is really a good thing that he has not messaged since.
Also a very weird situation happened this past Friday. It was Aiden’s baseball end of season party. I got there and I brought my dog and it seemed like everyone was so excited to see him etc. My ex-husbands girlfriend was right there with another parent and my daughter. “The ex girlfriend” told my daughter give your mom your backpack so she can take it to the car. (their clothes were in the bag) and I said to her just wait let me set everything down. I had food, the dog etc in my hands. So after that I didn’t think much about it and was talking to the kids. Now-the back packs were sitting in a area with other bags about 1/2 a car length away. After a few minutes the ex girlfriend says to me here’s Aiden’s back pack and walks over with it. I look at her and say I saw the backpack over in the other area as I take it. She goes ok just making sure you knew and walked off. I don’t know how to explain her tone other than mocking. As I write this I don’t know if the atmosphere of the situation comes across. I know the other parent standing there picked up on her behavior. So I walked over to the kids and sat there with them. I looked over and all the parents were standing in a crowd laughing and talking with my ex and his girlfriend. So I just got up and left. There is more but this is a long post.
Lindsey