Dear Annie:

I understand that sleeping on the sofa is not a part-solution for you, and the only place you can sleep in is in the room you share with your sister, living in an apartment with your sister and your parents.

Aug 14, you wrote: “I never thought about my anger showing to anyone else. If anything I try to avoid conflict with people outside of my family“, Aug 28: “People often say I’m soft spoken and quiet in person”-

– it is my understanding then that when you interact with, or are in the company of a person with whom you are not intimately involved (the person is not your parent, or sister, or close friend, or boyfriend)- you are soft spoken and quiet. But when you interact with or are in the company of a person with whom you are intimately involved- you are often angry, frequently triggered by something they said, something they didn’t say, their behavior.

Aug 13: “all my life, I feel like everyone always prefers someone else over me. Especially with my parents because I feel like they secretly prefer my sister. Maybe it’s a deep emotional wound thats why its triggering me so much“-

– I agree, it’s a deep emotional wound that repeatedly opens up/ gets triggered when you interact with people close to you, feeling hurt and angry, again and again and all over again when you believe that she/ he prefers someone else over you. This ongoing anger is physically and  mentally exhausting. I don’t see any solution to your situation other than finding a way to live away from your family. Far, far away is even better. And then, when you are away, start a process of healing from the emotional wound that hurts so much. I wish I could see an easier way to go about it all.

anita