Hi Anita and Teak,

Thanks for your replies.

I do want to be able to purchase my own home with the help of my mother. I don’t really expect my boyfriend to help me buy a home because it is still very early in my opinion. We are both 25. I only see myself getting married at a minimum age of 28-29.

I guess what I struggle with is that I have had several relationships, which makes me feel like I am the problem. My friends in 5+ year long relationships always say to work things out and keep trying. I don’t think I’ve tried my hardest to make it work with him because I struggle with showing vulnerability. I also can’t tell if this is just a normal phase of a relationship after the honeymoon period ends. I know I always get confused after the honeymoon period ends because I like that high-intensity feeling of mutual admiration. I’ve never had a relationship go longer than 6 months before this one. And I’m not interested in other people, I would just want us to be stronger together. I like being pursued by a man and not vice-versa, which may be an ego issue on my part. I’m just bad at being vulnerable and letting my walls down out of fear of being hurt.

He has admitted he is immature in that he wants to wait before settling down and getting married. He made that clear to his mother before he met me and currently. I don’t think it is because he wants to explore his options, but is because he wants to enjoy his 20’s with friends before the responsibilities of a husband and father come. 30 years of age is probably the oldest I would wait and I think he would compromise on that. I do believe living with him would be different and better than living apart. Everyone around him says he is a really caring person and a great guy, and in my head I’m like why wouldn’t I want to be with someone like that? I’ve asked him before if he thinks he would be happier and more compatible with someone who had similar interests etc. with him and he said no. I see a lot of potential with him and a happy future if we both put more effort in and were more open… I know he has gone through his own hardships as another child of an alcoholic father who now has no relationship with his father. I guess it’s just hard navigating that without professional help.