Oh my word it makes me feel so much better reading your reply because I’m feeling this is being all ironed out in my head! Thanks so much.

Things are ok when we don’t have to deal with his family, we differ quite a lot in personality which has been harder to work through because of this situation really. For example, there’s times when he’ll be rude like his dad but I won’t take it and he does apologise and backs off. I kind of expect it though because i remind myself who he’s been raised by so it’s obviously ‘normal’ to him, I see he also has narcissistic tendancies at times. I’m trying to raise my kids not to be the same and they understand because they’re not impressed with their grandfather’s behaviour, nor their fathers at times.

The thing I’m most worried about are the children. They don’t have a close bond with his family as they’ve never shown interest but I feel my husband is forcing a relationship on them. My two sons aren’t fond of their aunts as they’ve heard me being bad mouthed by them. One even read nasty text messages on my husband’s phone about me. This really upset my son. If I say to my husband he should go visit them alone he always wants to take the kids and they desperately don’t want to go and I just don’t trust them around my kids as I honestly think they’re toxic. So what do I do? I’ll be accused of being controlling and accused if keeping the kids away.

We have a religious family celebration for my son approaching soon and he wants to invite his parents and his sisters and none of them speak to me! He says its important to him they should be there and I’m not being supportive if I can’t do it. These people have ruined nearly every family event. His dad even told me I looked ugly on my wedding day for instance! I’ve literally been dealing with this for all these years and I’m so tired now.

I don’t get why it’s so important to invite people who show absolutely no interest in our kids 99% of the time unless it’s at an event which other people can see them at.

Should I agree to invite them but just stay away from them? To be honest my family are so cross with them and how I’ve been treated. The atmosphere will be awful!

What would be best and most fair?