Can someone pls help me…

Why am i always feeling this way…
Every time i wanna decide to do something i’ll always make sure that i dont regret it… but in the end i’ll always regret it…. Especially when i saw other people…

I cant continue living my life this way, it’s eating my mind…

Yesterday and today is graduation day on my uni… yesterday i only posted a pic of me and a flower from my parents on my instagram story… i didnt post a pic that my friends posted for me to congratulate because i felt that if i posted it, i’ll end up regretting just how i used to… because some of the pics they posted i dont look good….

And today i saw most people posting their graduation pics a lot…. Even the silly pics of them on graduation from their friends….

I suddenly get so much regret, why didnt i post it…. All of those graduates posted even silly pics….

I’m so tired of competing with people….. i really do…. But my mind always prevents me from being less than people, it drives me mad.

And i only posted a pic of myself, like i have no friends…. I really wanna scream right now….

Why do i always regret on everything i decide in this kind of situation… especially on social media…

I’ve done healing with myself by not posting for 110 days… and when i’m back to posting on social media… this issue occurs again…

Is this a fear of losing out? I think this is already occurs when i was a kid, when i saw other kids have video games i feel like i need to own it too…. Not because i really enjoy it, but because i dont wanna lose out…

I thought i’ve cured myself from that 110 days of not posting on social media.

My mental health is really messed up right now.

Before the graduation day, i was so motivated in learning some skills to improve myself…. And now i’m messed up just like 3 months ago….

It’s so so tiring.