Dear canary,

I feel my family accepts me completely but they don’t fully understand me.

Right. What comes to mind is that your mother accepted you completely (never shamed you, criticized you or similar), however she didn’t understand what you were going through when being bullied, so she couldn’t adequately help you. You told her you have anxiety about going to school, and she let you stay at home rather than trying to help you deal with that anxiety. Your father didn’t even know about the problems you were facing at school. So you were mostly left to your own devices to navigate those difficult emotions and situations you were faced with. That’s why I believe you developed anxiety in the first place.

Could it be that this lack of understanding that you feel from your family stems from the lack of understanding of your psychological problems, of your struggle with depression and anxiety? And your ex perhaps understood you because he went through something similar or had someone in the family who also suffered from anxiety and depression?

The thing is, with my ex, I felt he understood some parts of me that no one ever understood before. … I think it was just nice having that part of you being understood and having the same energy being reciprocated in the relationship.

Would you say that “that part of you” refers to the part who struggled with depression and anxiety?