Dear OrangeHeart,

Thanks for your response, Its hard because I do love him and I really dont want to hurt him but at the minute he’s hurting me with his behaviour and inability to communicate! I really think things would be better if he would talk to me about stuff but he just doesn’t.

you are welcome. So he doesn’t want to communicate at the moment but is giving you silent treatment, after he told you you’re overreacting due to trauma from your previous relationship? Giving you silent treatment is his usual style of punishing you, and he does that for full 2 days, even for smallest “offenses”, like you washing the dishes at his place. I understand you don’t want to hurt him, but is it healthy to be “hurt” for days, for something which shouldn’t even be a problem in the first place?

I need to try and set some sort of boundaries but dont even know where to start! I think I’m going to spend less time with him and see If that helps

You said in a previous thread that you try your best not to upset your boyfriend:

My boyfriend also struggles with his mental health and the smallest thing can totally ruin his day, if not his week. i feel like i really go out my way for things to run smoothly for him. Ill do things he wants just so he doesn’t get upset even if its not what I want, just because its easier. When he is upset, im upset… So its easier to keep him happy so I can feel happy. Even if its not what I want to be doing!

This is how you can practice setting boundaries: to not agree to do things you don’t want to do just so that he wouldn’t be upset. Or to not give up something you like – like going to a concert of your favorite band – just so that no one around you would get offended. Try doing what you want, try giving yourself permission to do what your heart desires, even if your boyfriend or your sister would object.