This story touched me so deeply because it resonates what I’m going through right now and I have never felt so utterly hopeless and desperate and depressed than I do this moment.

I cannot type this without crying, but I broke up with my best friend; someone I had loved for 2 years before he even asked me on a date. He had dated someone before me, which was one of the most difficult periods of my young life, hurt that he saw something in her before he saw something in me, now the pain is a million times worse knowing I inflicted it when I broke up with him and I severely regret it. He is on my mind literally 24/7, I attempted to rekindle the relationship and he replied that he thinks that we will never be able to get back together, he constantly felt as if he was losing me and things were never just “easy” when, to some extent they should be.

I had been fine up until he said these things, because on some level I had held out hope that he would just return to me once I confessed to making a mistake a few weeks ago breaking up with him. But he is far more rational than I am, and I doubt his faith in his response will only strengthen; he will not doubt and come running back to me. Why would he? Would I if he had broken up with me?

I completely regret everything, I wish I could go back in time and unsay everything. The reasons for the breakup were that I was constantly unsure of wanting to be in the relationship, and essentially wanted to spare him of my uncertainty, though I did love him and still do, extremely. I know he still loves me, in a way that makes it worse, I feel so much guilt I cannot sleep and I am crying several times throughout the day; my life just isn’t functioning anymore. I do hope time is a healer, because at the moment it feels like I just destroyed the only thing that could have made me happy.