Dear Lutie:

In January 2019, more than 2.5 years ago, you shared that your mother “says mean things when she gets angry“, that you lashed out at your boyfriend at the time because you felt hurt, and that when you told your mother about the breakup from that boyfriend, “she raised her voice” at you.  Today, you shared that your older sister said mean things to you: “when we were younger, my sister would always bully me with mean comments (how ugly or stupid I was)“, that she screams at you sometimes, and that you received punishments, “cane, hanger or leather belt” from your father-

– this is often the story of familial aggression: it passes on from Parent to Child, from Sibling to Sibling.. and then it passes on to the outside: against a boyfriend.. against peers at school, or receiving aggression from peers (“bullied at school”) and even from a teacher (“teacher would talk down on me”). This is the dynamic of aggression: it’s passed on and on.. and on until it is stopped, if it is.. and it should.

* Jan 2019, you shared: “I grew up in a single parent household”- did your father beat you during visitations..?

anita