“that I intended to hurt her and went about hurting her in a planned and calculated manner.. while reality was that I never meant to hurt her” I imagine this made you feel so trapped and powerless? That although you loved your mother and would have done anything to help, this wasn’t only ignored, but in fact you were criticised for the opposite. Do you bring this feeling into your relationships as an adult? Do you find maybe you have overcompensated in areas of your life so as not to seem like you aren’t doing enough, or supporting those close to you now?

“that I didn’t try to hurt her, but she argued and insisted that what she said was true. I was very confused..” Do you feel this confusion has carried forward into your relationship with others as an adult? For example, that you feel like you are doing everything you can but someone may not appreciate you for it, or that you might earn enough money to be comfortable, but struggles still arise? I’m not sure if you can relate to that?

“it hurt me to eat the food she bought for me, I couldn’t enjoy clothes and toys that she bought for me with her hard earned money” Does this make it difficult for you now to appreciate gifts and shows of self-sacrifice from others? Like it may be that you would be begrudged in accepting them from others?

“I ended all contact with her more than 8 years ago, so I no longer hear her say anything” Do you feel this was the best decision for you? I understand from friends I know that sometimes, the relationship with a parent is unrepairable and, although we would like to reach agreements and understanding with people we care about, sometimes this just isn’t possible.

D