Being told that reacting normally to the situation is abuse and convincing this man that he has tendencies or problems is gaslighting. Cheating on someone is abusive. Period. Yelling in response to that is normal. It’s not abusive. It is natural and perfectly normal inrespinse to someone trying to tell you that it’s your fault. Anyone and I mean ANYONE who says that cheating is your fault is encouraging you to accept abuse. Don’t ever, ever stop improving but don’t take this nonsense because you know that this tiny “buttfuck” is way off base. You are normal. Your cheating ex is a problem