Dear Javier,
I am happy to hear from you. And I want to let you know that I am here, rooting for you.
The saddest part is that I need and want help, but my mind won’t let me.
As both Peter and Sarah said, our mind is often our enemy, telling us lies, distorting things, even giving us distorted images. It happened to me once, when I tried to meditate on Jesus, all I got was some distorted images coming from my subconscious or I don’t know where from. I was desperate.
What helped me was to call Jesus into my heart. I told him to please circumvent my mind, because my mind is polluted, and come into my heart. I begged him because I couldn’t bear living without love any more. I was desperate. And he did – I felt warmth descending into the upper part of my body, into my heart, and I felt loved. It changed my entire life. It gave me hope.
You may try something similar, Javier. Ask Jesus or Mother Mary to circumvent your mind and come to your heart, so you can feel their love.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 