Dear miyoid:

On October 4, a month and 25 days ago, you wrote: “at that silence, I felt so miserable…  feeling that weird, ugly feeling deep down. I don’t know if it was anxiety, I am not sure. But in those moments, I cannot help but cry and the most memorable feeling would be feeling unsafe… these mental breakdowns make me feel so vulnerable that I miss the last person I was able to be comfortable crying in front of. It was my ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I just want to call him and ugly cry, and I know that he would try his best in terms of understanding and helping. I guess I was able to express how confused I am”-

– Something about that ex-boyfriend of yours, who I thought was a terrible boyfriend to you, something about his attending to you,  made you feel better when you felt that “weird, ugly feeling”? Better than anyone has made you feel in a long time, and maybe for as long as forever?

I am sorry that you were not helped here, by posting here. I hope that the psychiatrist you’ve been seeing back in October is helping him, and that deep inside you are a bit less lonely, a bit more able to choose, a bit stronger.

anita