Dear Ivy:

“There is no treatment to the autism“- there is no cure for autism, but there are plenty of treatments. If you look at the website Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NIH), title: “What are the treatment for autism?”

“I want MY life to be perfect, just like my parents’“- no one’s life is perfect. It is not possible.

“I want to be strong both on the outside and the inside“- this is possible. You can get stronger and stronger over time, on the inside and on the outside.

“What I meant by nightmares is that I live in this world where ‘perfection doesn’t exist’“-in this sense, we all live in a nightmare: our world is very far from being perfect. We have to get stronger and stronger so to endure this very imperfect reality and make the world just a bit better, every day.

“My fantasy future is to make good stories: fantasy, comedy, and horror stories as a writer and also do other jobs… How can I do all this, when I’m 17 years old“- You can accomplish some of the things you want over time, a bit at a time, patiently.

“I want to be strong and make my parents and everyone in the world happy“- it is the dream of many, many children all over the world: to make one’s parents happy. It used to be my dream, but I failed to make it happen. When you have a parent who is not happy and who hasn’t been happy way before you were born, there really is nothing you can do to make them happy.

“When I say ‘I’ll never do it again, I promise’ they say “O.K., but unfortunately you are wrong. You will do it all over again“- reads like you promised things before but failed to keep your promises. I used to promise a lot of things to myself and failed to keep my promises. I remember how frustrated it made me feel!

“I’m having a feeling that people I know are scary and are fortune tellers“- it is possible for you to make promises in the future and keep your promises. It happened to me: in the past I didn’t keep my promises, but now, I do!

Also, I am not a fortune teller (being able to predict the future), and neither are your parents. No one is.

“Parents and friends I know that are always stronger (strong-willed and are more of an expert) than me are always right“- they are not always right about everything… no one is.

“I’m always subtle and super abstract in writing… I want to be clear and narrow, not broad and scattered“- you can send me a broad and scattered paragraph that you wrote, and I will recommend an alternative clear and narrow version.

“I always cry and do the same bad habits/behaviors constantly and repeatedly… I’m still in special education. I need to learn more about patience… What can I do so that I can finally change my behavior…What can I do??“-

– One of the treatments you can read about on the website I mentioned above is called Behavioral Management Treatment for Autism. It partly reads: “Behavior management therapy tries to reinforce wanted behaviors and reduce unwanted behaviors. It also suggests what caregivers can do before, during, after, and between episodes of problem behaviors”- you, your parents and caretaker can benefit from reading more about this treatment.

“How can I show that I permanently changed?“- a little at a time, gradually. Focus on making small progress over a long time, instead of expecting a big change all at once.

“I tried to avoid crying and control my instinctive behaviors as much as I can, but it’s no use… How can I control my emotions and turn rational??? Any recommended books?”

– There are many books on autism and on various treatments for autism. I just looked at an Amazon list and a book with the title “Beyond Behavioral Management: The Six Life skills Children Need” looks promising to me.

“I want something else, some other powerful technique to permanently be happy and stay in the now instead of tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!!!! What can I do?“- To stay in the now, get help with lowering your anxiety and stress level, there are techniques to do that, such as breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation and more.

You can’t “permanently be happy” though, no one can.

What kind of help, if any, did you, or do you get in school, help from your special education teachers?

anita

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by .