Dear Imuhetalanaht:

I don’t know if you read my post yesterday, right below your reply to me. Again, you are very welcome.

* I didn’t understand what you meant by: “he hit her like others and convince that little child that it’s not him”.

You shared that your parents are Asian, that your father hit his daughters “for our studies“, but you recently found out that he hit your sisters so that they won’t tell your mother about him sexually abusing them (“to not told my mother about this issue“). Because they were hit, “they remained silent as they were all just children“, they didn’t tell your mother or each other about the abuse. Each one of your sisters thought that she was the only one who was sexually abused by him.

The screaming and swearing started when five years ago, your mother found out that he was cheating on her with other women. He blamed your mother for his cheating, saying “that she’s the one didn’t take care of him or give attention, that’s why I do that“.

When your mother found out about your father’s sexual abuse of his own daughters (aka incest), she prevented him from living with all of you, threatening to tell his mother and relatives about it. He moved out but showed up at your home “with police and claim the motorcycle and car. One mistake we did, buy all property under his name“.

My thoughts today: (1) Again, I am so sorry for yours and your sisters’ betrayal and suffering. I hope that each one of you heals and recovers as much as is possible! (2) If there is such a thing as legal help to families such as yours, in the country where you live, I hope that you receive such help: producing a legal restraining order against him, so that he will be arrested if he tries to contact any of his victims, and protecting yourselves financially, so that he doesn’t take more possessions away from you. Maybe getting the car and/ or motorcycle back from him,

(3) I wonder if in your country, there is a governmental or other agency that helps adult survivors of incest. Even though the following is a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website: www. child welfare. gov/ organizations (no spaces), some of the “Organizations for Adult Survivors of Abuse” may be of help to you.

(4) Finding out that your father did what he did has been traumatic for you, and understandably so. You can read some, if you haven’t yet, about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), about symptoms and treatments. One website you may want to read from is www. psychology today. com/ us/ blog/ somatic psychology/ trauma- incest (no spaces). You are welcome to let me know your thoughts in regard to what you read.

Otherwise, please post again anytime, and I will reply to you every time you post.

anita

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by .