Hi anita

Hope you are doing well. How are you?

Thank you for your kindness. I missed talking to you. I had gone through your last post. I needed some time to respond. I was triggered by my own promotion which was confirmed yesterday and have been struggling since I found out I got it. All the gaps I have in my career and skills presented themselves to me. Add to that I am leading another person and we are both new to the project. It makes me feel like I am not doing my job properly. I am afraid of leading and letting others down.

I used my questions to ascertain action items that I had to do irrespective of whether my fears would come true. It eliminated noise like getting fired. “Am I doing something for each of the fears?” was what I went with. It then didn’t matter if they came true. That helped me write a checklist for things to follow up on or do, to help unblock my teammate. So I feel better. A huge problem for me is asking others for help, afraid the question is dumb. I pushed myself to reach out. It may sound silly but I am exhausted after that. Makes me feel good that I did it though.

I am not way ahead of my teammate despite being senior and that has me fear that he is judging me. I am always afraid of being judged as a loser. I had to calm myself down and tell myself that it’s ok and I will do my best. I also bought a lavendar and rose tea. And it is incredibly soothing. The fragrance brought a smile on my face and it calmed my body.

Tomorrow is a national holiday for us. I will use it to rest my mind. I will respond to your other message in a couple of hours or a day. Thank you for reaching out.

Girija