Hi Anita,

You came up with this lie today.

This is very hurtful to read. Telling me that I am lying. I am just trying to explain to you better what my thoughts are, this is not lying.

For example, in your first thread, you described your ex-boyfriend as your soulmate, and a very kind and empathetic man. In your second thread, you described him as fitting the Asocial Personality Disorder diagnosis. When I confronted you with this contradiction, you came up with the following distinction (a lie): he is Asocial with other people, BUT he is very kind and empathetic with his loved ones (and you were one of his loved ones).

Maybe, in my first thread, I had a perception that my ex was a very loving empathetic soulmate, seeing him through rose-colored glasses. And maybe, in the second thread, after hearing him tell me about his ASPD diagnosis, I perceived him as a very unempathetic and hateful man, because I was thinking about all the hateful and hurtful things he said to me that I never really considered while making the first thread because I was seeing him through rose-colored glasses. And after being confronted with the contradiction, I was trying to make sense of why he was very antisocial and rude, but also caring and loving at the same time.

In your current, 4th thread, you presented this contradiction: “I’ve forgiven them completely… I get very angry at this person“. The contradiction is in the word “completely” (I understand that the process of forgiveness is complicated). When I confronted you with this contradiction, you came up with the following distinction: you do get angry at him, BUT you don’t consciously have the urge to seek revenge against him.

Maybe when I said that I forgive this person completely, I considered complete forgiveness as not feeling any resentment towards the person… which I consider resentment to be a desire for payback or revenge. And I considered the anger as just an emotion, not tied to the feeling of wanting to get payback or revenge.

In your 4 threads, you didn’t share a single detail of an insult, or another disrespectful behavior on his part. You came up with this lie today. I don’t believe anything you say, canary.

This is because there were a billion conversations between me and him, there were times when he insulted me and disrespected me, I definitely did say that he did disrespect me in previous threads but I didn’t share a specific incident because there were too many to count. It was just an everyday thing, so I did not share it. I did not share every little thing at the time, because it did not bother me at that time. Now, it does bother me. The insults still linger, and that is why I am sharing!

You can’t lie to a therapist and expect to be helped

Sorry, you think I am lying. It’s difficult to type out everything, it’s difficult to explain, it’s difficult to speak English. I am trying my best.