Dear Javier:

Javier, January 2022: ” I have for the last 2-3 months developed a strong resentment towards my mother. I don’t know why, but I feel just pure hate“.

Javier, May 2021: “It was a time when she was happy. From I was 6-7 years old till I was 16 years old, she was in a relationship. My mother loved him, and she was genuinely happy. He was the love of her life” – the love of her life was not Javier, but a stranger, a man with a family of his own. He was the love of her life, not the boy who loved his mother more than anything.

While your mother had the affair with “the love of her life“, sometimes along the ages of 6 to 16, you were angry at her: “I started to act out, I was showing my ‘bad’ sides and stopped talking to my mother“.

When that affair ended, your mother was broken: “It broke my mother into ‘thousand’ pieces. It killed her, and I haven’t seen her happy since. I hate myself for that“, you wrote back in May last year. What broke her was that the man in her life was gone. You were still in her life, but you were not enough for her.

It is every boy’s and every girl’s desire to be enough in the mother’s life, to make mother happy, to see her smile, happy that you are there! Oh, what happiness it is in a child’s heart, to be enough, to make her happy. The child looks to his mother, to see her smile, the mother’s back is to the child, looking for somebody else to make her smile.

anita