Hi anita,

I was so nervous because I had to talk to a guy in this arranged marriage process, that I did not reply to you at length.

I was feeling unsupported by my mother when she forced to me to wear a bindi thinking it would be a video call but it was just a phone call. I had a breakdown. I used to hit myself when I got upset, now I was just thrashing pillows. Never again.

So coming to being fierce. I am going to change my fierce setting to the max. I did it on this very forum when someone brought up rape in India. I have had enough of worrying about other people, how I will come across, not empathetic enough, not kind enough. I’ve had it. I am going to take this energy and have a casual conversation with the same guy. I’ll tell him what I am looking for and give him time to let me know what he wants. We’ll take it from there. I am going let him know I need time to get to know him. If he is good with that, we’ll move forward. Otherwise, I’ll be sad to not talk to him again. But it is what it is.

I’m going to be fierce and selfish for a trial period of a week and see where it takes me.

Girija